(Source: dodginglight)

warsquirtle:

Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life

(Source: wartortles, via zackisontumblr)

beyoncending:

Sending subtle hints to your crush

image

(via zackisontumblr)

valvala:

im a man and i LOVE sitting on GIANT BALLSACKS

valvala:

im a man and i LOVE sitting on GIANT BALLSACKS

(Source: 40514294s, via ruinedchildhood)

surprisebitch:

dating tip: ask them to show you their recently used emojis so you can count your matches and see if you are compatible

(Source: surprisebitch, via humoristics)

yasslana:

I’m going to hell omg

(via ruinedchildhood)

h-ound:

I wish I remembered more from this show

(Source: lunar-vee, via ruinedchildhood)

shiningartifact:

Greatest ever response to that question.

(Source: dcwneyjr, via therealct2)

demoncow:

faggitvekubby:

imagine if people were born with traits based on their zodiac signs so like aries had ram horns and hoofs like a satyr and shit how rad would that be

Do you really want to give birth to a kid with horns

(via jesussbabymomma)

mesaxi:

vaguelyjewish:

testoster0ne:

how do woman not orgasm when inserting tampons.

like isn’t just like having sex idgi?

This sounds like a Mitt Romney diary entry.

You mean a Mitt Romney binder entry?

(Source: basedyeeezus)

15-Year-Old African Kid Tells Madonna To Go ‘Have Sex’ with Herself

almightykushlord:

Dakarai Molokomme, a 15-year-old starving child from a small village in Zimbabwe, has just told , one of the most famous pop stars in the world, to  and f*** , the local media are reporting exclusively.

“Yes, it’s true, I told Madonna to go f*** herself. Do you want to know why?” Dakarai asked. “It’s the same thing every time with these snobby rich Americans. Every once in a while they come to show us their support for the so-called eradication of poverty by adopting a child from a starving family, but they actually do more harm than good. Transracial international adoptions are part of the white savior industrial complex,” Dakarai explained.

In further discussions with journalists from the media, the  stated that “none of the children here actually want to be taken away from their family and friends so they can be displayed as some kind of trophy in the homes of self-righteous singers or actors who want to score some points with the media and Oprah.”

“If they really want to help us, they should get Big Pharma to ship us some anti-retroviral drugs for the AIDS epidemic, or build schools and hospitals. If they don’t want to do that, then they can all go f** themselves!” the child told reporters.

The 15-year-old also stated that he would say the same thing to any one of those American or European “faux humanitarian posers”, except for Bono, whom he said he would also kick in the groin.

“Bono’s efforts to save the African savage from itself prove that the colonial imperative is alive and well,” Dakarai said as he walked with other village children collecting sticks to build a tree fort.

THIS IS THE RAWEST 15 YEAR OLD ALIVE

(via theroguefeminist)